Despite the belief that it can be positive, it really is not so much
The journal ‘Psychology Today’ published in 1980, in an article by Professor David D. Burns, assistant professor of psychiatry at the medical school of the University of Pennsylvania, the advantages and disadvantages of perfectionists. In this article, Professor stated that “their goals are out of reach and they focus relentlessly on impossible goals, measuring their own value according to productivity and the objectives achieved.”
Perfectionism, said the professor, is a fairly common attitude in today’s society, known as a cultural phenomenon reinforced by many factors, including the media and religion.
The problem arises when those who seek perfection suffer from major anxiety, affecting their health, self-control, complications in relationships and low self-esteem, suffering various mood disorders.
In the following lines, we present some points “The Huffington Post” recently published on the commonalities of perfectionists:
- Always willing to please: this behavior is learned as a child. According to the reward-punishment mechanism, upon achieving great goals, you get the reward, otherwise a sanction. A perfectionist is excited to impress, but hen they fail, comes the frustration.
- Seeking perfection is harmful: the perfectionist is convinced that is the price to pay. No pain, no gain. He/she makes a great effort to avoid being “mediocre” or “just like everyone else.” Others will consider this behavior stressful.
- Delays: perfectionism and fear of failure go hand in hand. In fact, many times the obligations are postponed in an attempt to forestall the disapproval of others…
- Critical: always judging others as a common defense mechanism. Perfectionists reject in others what they can not accept in themselves and also have difficulty seeing beyond the criticized section of the person.
- Always aiming big: They are usually involved in projects that will surely achieve success. Otherwise, they do not dare to make the decision, as they are totally risk averse. Once they have made a decision, determination and ambition will make them stop at nothing.
- Shielding from the public: Being constantly afraid of making mistakes and feeling rejected, perfectionists hate feeling vulnerable. So, they avoid talking about their fears and insecurities, even to those closest to them.
- Exaggerating failure: every little mistake is an obsession. In an attempt to avoid these errors, the perfectionist who commits a fault always takes it as a great personal failure.
- Taking everything personally: perfectionists are constantly thinking they are not good enough. It would be best to overcome the difficulties and mistakes, although they often blame themselves for the problem.
- Reacting defensively to criticism: In this sense, it is easy to detect a perfectionist. During a conversation where they feel threatened, they “jump” and become defensive. This behavior is an attempt to protect their weak self-image and the way others see it.
- Feeling that it is never really enough: perfection is not possible, for this reason perfectionists constantly feel they are missing something and that no matter what they do, they will never achieve the desired success. Thus, their constant motivation revolves around completing their “pending tasks.”
- Being “one more”: this is something that makes perfectionists very nervous. It is simply impossible to be one more in the crowd, that means you’re average. It is always necessary to stand out and be seen as superior…
- Rejoicing in the mistakes of others: perfectionists feel relieved when other people are wrong. This is something that makes them feel better about themselves.
- College nostalgia: remembering college days is pleasant for perfectionists because the success is tangible: the notes, teachers, etc. In the real world, success is something else.
- Guilty soul: always related to depression, that’s the guilty soul. Perfectionists are not true, they do not allow others to see what they are really like. Thus, they do not show their weaknesses.
